My cousin and I have a running joke that we are now on the roof, or the top level of the house that is our family.
During one of my annual visits home (I live in Ca., both of my parents were from North Carolina), my cousin and I both shared how weird it was that all of our older relatives were passing, or in declining health, and now we were the ones who were in charge. We were the caregivers, or we were the ones that were being looked to for advice, care, etc. We were officially the "older generation." We both remembered playing together out in the yard, or at sleepovers, or simply being the youngest and now our children (and in her case, her children's children) had swapped places with us.
I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I do go back in my mind to those hot summers of my childhood. Those summers were humid, hot and wet and wrapped our skins like a blanket. I can easily see myself running around in the backyard feeling the soft grass between my toes, or even the welcome coolness of the night and catching fireflies. Yet at the same time, even though this was a big responsibility for my cousin and I, we actually welcomed it. Our mother's had laid the groundwork for us so well.
I was literally thinking about this today! Although I’m not there yet, I know I will be sooner rather than later. I love the sensory details in your hot summers of childhood paragraph. They made me smile, and think of some of my own.
ReplyDeleteI TY! And it's a comin'
DeleteI loved the details in your slice. I was there with you catching fireflies. I often forget that my parents are now gone and that my sister and I are taking on our parent's roles in our growing family. Honestly, I don't think I could ever fill their shoes. I don't welcome this responsiblity, but its our reality and I keep trying my best!
DeleteThis is my current life! We just packed up my mother's house a few weeks ago, and my cousin came to help. Shared a lot of good memories.
ReplyDeleteI am not yet there, probably far but I resonate with your poem, my father's loss makes me feel more responsible, frankly much older self is all I feel, catching the fireflies.. and now relinquishing my solace more.
ReplyDelete