Coping with Loss

    My dad always quoted Dylan Thomas when our family suffered a loss. And the English professor that he was would often point out the subtext for Dylan's poignant prose about loss. Thomas was right. After the first loss, the first loss that one experiences, all encompassing, all obliterating there seems to be no other. We join a secret club, and we help each other, or at least we try to. Once we cross through that awful rite of passage, that ever necessary threshold that is part of life, we become experienced. Or perhaps even all knowing.

     That's why my 97 year old aunt's passing took me by surprise. I tried to be an old veteran, and take it on the chin but somehow the loss of this humble and gracious lady was different. Since birth my mom's first cousin ( we have always called her, Aunt Catherine) has been there for my mother (when she fell sick), myself, my family, and my children in every sense of the word.

     This lady has lifted me up in so many different ways that are impossible to measure. And believe me, I'm not the only one. Every single person my aunt came in contact with was touched by both her love and concern. I will forge ahead, and live my best life despite missing her horribly.  I know she would want that without a doubt. But I'm going to be honest with you- the void  hat she has left us with- is pretty much a chasm. 

Choose Your Lens

   Did you know we have 60,000 thoughts a day and 80% of them are negative. Say what? I've heard the cliche "focus on the positive," but this takes that old chestnut to a whole new level.

    Part of my mindful mornings is to read a bit and be outside in quiet before I start my day. While reading Manifest 7 Steps to Living Your Best Life by Roxie Nafousi I learned I needed to manage my thoughts. When we allow our negative thoughts to roam free, unregulated and unmanaged they (obviously) work against us.

   There is SO much in the read but one of the biggest takeaways ( that also seems obvious) is that if you can grasp that thoughts and emotions are all made up of energy, and if you can change your thoughts, thus you can shift the frequency. Like attracts like- think physics ( which was hard for me as I was only in Chemistry for three days- science was not my "thing.")

   Essentially replace the negative thoughts with positive ones. Easy? Hardly. Is this a " cure all," does this work? I don't know BUT I do know when I stay in the high vibration emotions, or I try to redirect myself there, I feel better. I actually feel better, and my body somehow relaxes, my face almost smiles, and my posture softens. I feel as if I just finished a yoga pose.

   As I continue on my picture book author journey whilst being kicked in the teeth on a fairly regular basis, I NEED to change my thoughts. I need to alter the way I perceive things.  And the best part? The best part is these are great tools for life in general. So, it's a win-win! 

Unexpected Beauty

     After traveling I didn't sleep well and I found myself up WAY too early. After a few unsuccessful attempts to return to slumberland I gave up and trudged downstairs for a cup of caffeine. I went outside to water my plants that border the patio, and was struck by the quiet. It might have been 20-30 mins before sunrise and the sun was just trying to creep up.

     I think I need to back up, and share that I am a bird lover. And I also must confess that there are maybe 6-7 different food sources for them throughout the yard.

    One of my favorite things to do while sitting outside is to watch them flit around, chase each other, and of course try to bully each other out of a space on a bird feeder.

    So this morning being out there in the complete quiet I realized the birds were doing what I desperately wished I was doing- sleeping.

   And then, as if on cue, a few of my feathered friends emerged. An American Robin threw out a random morning call, or perhaps better described as an ornithological reveille and the party started. (My personal favorite is the Chestnut-backed Chickadee, but I digress.) And as I sat there, identifying each new bird that joined in, ("Yes," I am that nerd who has a bird app on their smartphone) I marveled at not only this small moment, but the randomness of unexpected beauty.