Art Therapy?

      I spent my day yesterday like most of us I imagine- numb, shell shocked and sort of going through the motions. I did have some writing to do for a class so I did that, and then I ended up down a rabbit hole. As a former 5th grade teacher I suddenly found myself researching some U.S. history (Bill of Rights) to ease my mind.

   Not sure that happened BUT I did feel validated. Okay, Bill of Rights WAS created to balance government. Okay, Bill of Rights safeguards individual liberties.

   I digress.

   I read somewhere the power of the arts during times of despair and hopelessness.

   I think this is one of those times.

   Art therapy is producing art to release your pain, feelings, and push you out of paralysis.

   It brings about your well being and social change.

   Not sure about the last part.

   But I am going to keep writing, drawing, and doing what little I can to push back, but also being a "helper."

   That is when I'm not outside hiking, and taking deep, deep breaths.

Everyone's Perceptions

 

    My siblings and I gathered this past weekend In New Mexico for noshing, talking, outings, walking and more noshing. 

   Sadly, It had taken 36 years for us to get together and just simply hang out. We had no social events or rites of passage that drew us together this time. We gathered just for "us."

    After we sufficiently caught up on each other's family, our chatter inevitably fell upon the past. Childhood memories, talk of our grandparents, parents, and eventually a traumatic childhood event that we all shared was on the table.

   Each of us recounted our own perceptions of the chain of circumstances that led up to that event, and its' aftermath.

    A big take away that weekend for me was how each individual's perception could be radically different, somewhat different, or even similar to my own- yet all of our perceptions were right ones. All of our views of the event are correct simply because they are ours. 

     And all three versions can be true at once.

     I don't think I fully grasped this concept before this get together. I'm not sure I fully honored their lens. Almost like puzzle pieces, they all (equally weighted), fit together to create the event.

    I am also grateful for this past weekend because it not only helped me understand my brother and sister, but also love them even more.

      A second big takeaway is the fact it's both fascinating and tragic to see who in a family survives a childhood trauma and why.

      But that, my friends, is a topic for yet another slice. . . .

Dr. Nature is "In"

 

   Recently I discovered research to support what my heart and body seemed to already know: that being outside is GOOD for you.

    When I think back to childhood, I think like many children I loved playing outside. As a child, and even as an adult, I enjoyed walks, beaches, camping, hiking and even backpacking. And at the same time I  became aware of those who were indifferent to the outdoors. 

   I do think after Covid, and after some "extremely bumpy" times in my family I somehow began to find myself outside in the early mornings, nursing my cup of coffee, just hanging with the birds. And if additional resources might be needed that morning- for instance: a down jacket or even a Petzl headlamp, I complied.

    I still haven't quite mustered the umbrella, yet.

    And it was when I started noticing how I felt when traveled or something else caused me to miss my outdoor morning ritual that I decided to do some investigating.

     Who knew that my outdoor craving significantly enhanced mental, emotional and physical well being? I wasn't aware that there is actually scientific evidence that nature heals.

     And don't even get me started on forest bathing!

    Yes, being outdoors lifts mood, reduces stress, has physical health benefits and even boosts creativity, but you know what?  I  just know that I intrinsically need it.

Coincidences

      My parent's families couldn't be more different. . . . my father's parents were both doctors and my mother's parents were academics. My mom's parents were very social and prominent in their community while my dad's parents kept a somewhat lower profile, and pretty much immersed themselves in the medical world.

   Yet, they both shared an amazing parallel. Both sets of parents had their adult children fall ill, and return to their home, and live with them. 

    Obviously, this is not what might fall under a "happy coincidence."

    But I can't help but wonder if they had compassion for each other? Each one dealing with their own individual set of impossible circumstances yet still managing to hold it all with grace. Each being faced with an unbearable task, yet quietly forging on.

   It's hard to know. I know there was a civility between the families. I also know my mother's parents weren't exactly feeling all the warm fuzzies towards my dad's parents, or even my dad for that matter.  Since my mother had fallen ill, and my father couldn't manage my mother and the four kids, he had fallen out of favor.  

And that's putting it mildly.

He was actually the reason she was back in her childhood home.

Were they aware of these commonalities?

Did they see them?

It's made me very open to so many different types of familial circumstances as an adult. It's also given me another lens to look through in parenting.

Mostly, it's given me empathy to other parents who are in similar situations.  

I know what they are going through.

** This post really resonated with me after the recent terrible tragedy in the Reiner family.

Awareness

         I know I've written about this before and just so you know, just because I'm cognizant of it, because I'm aware of it, does not, by any means, mean I am 100% practicing it.

     I am trying.

     The principle is to change your thoughts. If you are putting out high energy, high vibrations, then you will get them back. Like attracts like. Its's science. It's the law of attraction.

    Honestly, most of the time I'm just trying to survive while I'm driving, or in another similar type situation. I do look down at the little rainbow card I made (I keep in my car) and think, "Ok. You're in the yellow. No wonder. " I try to relax, or even smile. Sometimes, it helps just to know. And once in awhile, I will purposely try to shift out of that emotion.

  It is my body will be the first thing that betrays me when I'm in these lower vibration emotions. My posture, my jawline and even my hands signal me.

   When we change our thoughts, we change how we feel, and change what feelings we are experiencing. If one can ultimately alter one's thoughts and emotions - one can alter their reality.

  I know, right?

  I am NOWHERE near that stage, folks BUT I feel a little bit better when I'm more aware. 

  I'll take that.

Light & Dark

 

     I attended my niece's wedding this weekend. And like most weddings it was beautiful. However, I must add that EVERY single aspect of this wedding reflected intention: from custom made wood fired pizzas to the handwritten notes for each guest.

     The vibe, and the energy interwoven throughout the night also was also connected to the young couple. Both the openness, and friendliness of all the guests without a doubt represented the pair. And the love between them? It was palatable. He loves her SO!

    My two siblings and our respective families had come to support our niece as her own parents were not invited. It was more than important for each of us to be there. Both parents were absent while growing up, and were not present for a myriad of reasons. She has completely disengaged from both of them. In addition, due to unmentionable transgressions she chose to not include them in the wedding.  Ironically, my siblings and I were also motherless growing up with a father who was not "father of the year," material. Her healthy choice to distance herself from her parents really resonated with us, and we were determined to show up for her.

   See the parallels?

   So I cried a lot that day. The waterworks started as she came down the aisle with her cousin. I cried because she was so beautiful, and I cried because her mother wasn't there. Mostly, I cried because I knew she would be more than alright.

The Reluctant Leaf Fall Writing Frenzy 2025

     "We practiced this, Maple! Just go already! Jump!"

     "Are you sure I won't get hurt?" Maple's veins were quivering.

     "Look kid, you were supposed to go yesterday."

     "I thought you wanted to fly?" His brother tried again.

     "Maybe, I should stay just a bit longer? That way I can process a bit more chlorophyll?"

     "Squirt, you aren't even taking in chlorophyll anymore. Have you looked in the mirror lately?  Newsflash:you're YELLOW! Besides, you have a bigger job now."

Maple's margins tightened.

     "I do?" He gulped.

     "They need you down there for the soil.You're gonna be even more useful as many parts.You'll help plants grow, put nutrients in the soil, you might even be a house for a bug."

     "Maple!"

He looked down to see his cousin.

     "OMG! It's so soft down here!"

     "It doesn't even hurt, and it feels like you're flying," she promised.

Maple liked the idea of helping out, but he'd always dreamt of flying. But it was probably the tiny tear in his petiole that sealed the deal. With a brightness and joy almost like no other leaf, Maple circled down, and made his way towards something more.