Phineas Goes Scary

PHINEAS GOES SCARY

     Every year his pug pack went out as a pack of pumpkins. Every year they heard the same thing.

     "Aren't those pugs the cutest?"

But Phineas didn't want to be cute. He didn't want to be adorable, either.

Phineas wanted to be scary.

"Phineas! Nope. We have to be pumpkins. That's what we are every year."

Phineas looked at the pile of pumpkin costumes and at his brother. Even his wrinkles wrinkled.

Everyone got their costume on. Phineas took his place in line but his curly tail drooped.

And then he saw the white sheet blowing on the clothes line and had a terrifying idea.

     "Trick or treat!" the pack of pugs yapped.

The door opened and revealed a smiling old man.

     "Esther! You gotta see this! There is the scariest, most adorable little ghost here."

A woman appeared behind the man. She was moving slowly with a walker.

     "Gerald, would you look at this ghost's stout little legs?" She bent down and dropped something in Phineas' bag. Then she scratched his head.

     Cute and scary?

     He looked down at the two bones in his bag.

     Phineas could live with that.

Cause and Effect

 

  I'm feeling so weird about this. I know I'm too sensitive, I know life and death interchange and they are part of life BUT. . . 

    This morning as I stood in my yard quietly nursing a cup of coffee before the sun rise I heard a hawk.  I smiled to myself because I'm a birder now. I have many bird feeders, I have a smart feeder, and and even a very clever app. I have identified over 20+ bird species in my yard, either by physical description or by their call.

   I use suet, hummingbird, songbird, and birdseed feeders

   Are you impressed?

   Well, I was.

   Later on this morning while doing dishes, and gazing out my window, I saw a whole bunch of white nestled in the grass. I knew instinctively what it was. I went outside cautiously, found the spot on the lawn, and crouched down.

   There in the circle, was as I suspected, the remains of a very small bird. A small bird who came to the Gersho yard for breakfast- not to be breakfast.

   I'm not blaming myself. I'm not even saying anything really.

   I'm just noticing the cause and effect in the world.

Sinking Feeling

 

   You know it hit me the other day. And I want to be very clear it had nothing to do with those popular  Progressive insurance commercials where the message is "Don't become like your parents," etc.

    I  remember that my dad always had a rubber band around his wrist. I don't know why? I guess to have one handy? His trusty kitchen was chock full of reused margarine tubs, free bank calendars, stacks of expired coupons, and of course a tub of the elusive rubber bands.

   Well, if you are wondering, as a matter of fact I did find one around my wrist the other day, and I'm not going to even mention what is in my utility drawer. 

    At least they are not in an old margarine tub.

      

Be Here Now

 

   I remember that stupid bumper sticker. I want to say it was in the 80's or 90's? Not sure, but I know I thought it was obnoxious and cliche. BE HERE NOW.

   Yes, to answer your question I do fall into the "too judgmental," category from time to time. I'm working on it. But, that's another slice.

     This morning wandering my backyard I was remembering George Harrison's quote (which I'm sure he borrowed from some philosophy- Indian or Buddhist) which is, "Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is the future, all we have is today."

  If you try to live in that. . . I mean really TRY and live in that- it's a beautiful space. It's magic at its' very core. Don't think of something else. don't try to hold on, and don't post a picture of it. You get where I am going? 

   If you can stay there the lens from which you see things can be life changing.

   Okay, now I sound like a bumpersticker. . . .

Star Jasmine or Honeysuckle

   If there were a walking, living version of Cliff Notes it would be my Dad. Or maybe this is better example for the Gen Z-ers, if Wikipedia were an actual person, it would be my Dad.

   My Dad knew something (and often a whole lotta something) about everything. And I'm not exaggerating.  Both his parents were doctors, He went to college when he was 15.  Education, and knowledge were highly valued in his home.

   When I spent time with him outdoors I had to listen to him identify every plant, rock, star, or insect.  If we were indoors topics might range from music, art, literature, history or even politics. The time frame could be anywhere from past to present.  As I grew older I quickly learned to ask him for the Cliff Notes version, and I'm talking about the summary at the front of the booklet. Out of necessity I became preemptive. 

    "Dad, I have to ask you something, and I need the 10-15 minute version."

   When he passed away (very quickly to cancer) i planted these fragrant bushes in front of our house to remind me of our walks when I was a child. Me, just wanting the soft serve at the end of our walk, and him pointing out all the constellations, and telling their stories. I  remember nodding an affirmation as he spoke when truthfully my mind was just fixated on that future vanilla creaminess.

    The hedge is so full and healthy now after 23 years, and so unbelievably fragrant. I love to stop and smell it, but honestly I can smell it right when I open our front door. I was never sure when I planted it  whether it was Star Jasmine, or honeysuckle.

    I know who would know.

The Doctor is IN

     I've been playing around, and researching the idea of the restorative powers of the outdoors. I fell upon it by mistake. I just happened to notice how much I was enjoying being outside in the mornings. And if I worked, had a responsibility, or traveled I really found myself missing it.

     Almost craving it.

     Then as I started to read, and research I discovered so much. 

     There is a healing impact. There are also therapeutic benefits. Think low stress and even improving mood.  Reconnecting with nature lowers both anxiety and depression. It can also make one feel connected and give a sense of belonging in the world. These are obviously two very important components to one's mental health. In addition being outdoors can provide a brief escape from our world, its' overwhelming intensity, and overstimulating screens.

    There is actually a science now called EcoTherapy.

    Did I mention being outside can improve cognitive functioning?

    I may just move into my backyard.

   

Light Bulb Lighted

   I've noticed a pattern lately in my retirement from teaching for 30 years that I think I am beginning to understand.

   My heart, my head, and my instincts now go out to the kids who are at risk, struggling, and can be behavior problems. When I am subbing these kids are easy to recognize, they materialize immediately, and I find myself gravitating towards them throughout the day.

    Now I want to clarify. It wasn't that I was ignoring them when I was in the classroom full time. I want to make that clear. However, when you are teaching you have SO many pots on the stove. You are that waiter who either is bringing out so many meals on a platter, or that busboy with the overloaded tray with all the dishes. So, I know this sounds horrible but these kiddos were just some of the many needs I was trying to meet. Trying to meet.

     Do you get what I mean?

     Educators wear so many hats.

     Educators wear too many hats.

     And so I have been noticing that these kids, these kids who are square pegs, who either don't "get" what is going on, or they don't want to "get" it. They are now like magnets for me.

    I kneel down and whisper. I check in with them throughout the day. Sometimes, I go and find them on the playground at recess,  or I try to strike up conversations with them when they line up, or even as we walk through the school grounds.

   And I understand now that I never had the time for this before. I never could have seen this before during my typical school day ( AND NIGHT).  And think I really understand now the absolute full scope, and depth of what is being asked of public school educators every day. 

    And I also forgive myself.