My father was raised in a different time, with two very ambitious and driven parents, and I now suspect very little love. I will never forget when my kids were toddlers, and I quietly revealed to him, " I think having children might be my biggest accomplishment."
Oh my goodness! Did he ever come apart.
"I didn't raise you to be barefoot and in the kitchen."
I tried to share the rewards of having Max and Emma in my life. I tried to share the gift of being part of two good souls going into the world, and my sacred relationship with them to no avail.
'You're a teacher, an artist and you have your Masters!" He sputtered.
I don't know exactly I tapped into that day? My dad was a mess, and that is material for my writing for another time, but my own position on this has never wavered.
Taking this journey with my son and daughter while encouraging them, and myself to be authentic and true, has been an absolute gift. And sometimes, when the craziness of the present day world gets to me (like every day) I try my hardest to remember this. And sometimes it works.
Moma, I think most people (teachers) choose to have children as an act of hope, a belief in the possibilities and dreams. When we see the ugly in the world, we often look to our children and grandchildren to see the beauty. Your father's response makes me deeply sad. His reaction is a parallel to my mother's and stepmother's response to my going to college and choosing teaching as a career. My children are grown, and I fear they don't understand how deeply I support them and want them to choose their path to happiness and fulfillment because their father, my ex, has for years articulated his expectations and choices, and his is the voice that resonates strongest in their lives. Sorry for making this about me, but your post hit a nerve and opened a sad part of my heart.
ReplyDeleteYep, Glenda. Spot on. No worries to connecting to your own pain on my end. Sadly, these things shape us.
DeleteWhat a beautiful, vulnerable post. I can imagine how hard it was to process your dad's reaction.
ReplyDeleteYeah. Thank-you. It was all I knew. There were four of us. we were used to it by then.
DeleteThis is a powerful post that brings tears on many levels. Our children are certainly our greatest accomplishment and our great contribution to the future of the human race. I have been (and am) a passionate educator; however, like you, my children are my life and my hope for the future.
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