The feeling of not fitting in never really goes away does it? I think as one gets older, one simply learns to cope with it. From the first day of school, or the first day of camp, or even entering a party and joining in a conversation awkwardly when all the faces are strangers- it all resonates the same.
I just retired in June from 25 years of teaching, and already having lunch, or just meeting my former team- it is different. Don't get me wrong, they are still the same to me, unbelievably kind, but I don't belong. I don't fit. I can just see the gap widening at future get togethers.
I no longer share the passion, the frustrations, the drama and the stories of my school. I can certainly relate, but I'm not a part of them.
I am merely marveling at life, and how it does indeed "march on."
The subtle shifts are really the most powerful. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThe marching on is pretty interesting, isn't it? I imagine it will be interesting to see what new places start to feel like your place to belong :) Enjoy your retirement!
ReplyDeleteI feel this - It’s so hard to see these shifts. But keep having lunch with your former team … I think you can still maintain the connection, even if it’s different. In my town, the retired teachers meet for breakfast regularly — I think they have found a new way to fit in.
ReplyDeleteThank you to everyone and all comments. Def food for thought
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