When my Dad died (like 24 years ago) I was completely lost. Like I'm talking completely rudderless. My father raised me since I was three due to my mother's illness. Luckily, I had two toddlers to make me focus and suit up or who knows what would have really gone down? During that time of loss I did consult a psychic.
Yes, I live in California.
And the psychic I consulted with told me, among many other things (that are topics for quite another piece of writing) that my father would visit me through birds.
A little backstory here: my father took my sister and I for walks when we were kids and pointed out every rock, plant, type of tree, bird species ,and stars. He pointed them out, identified them, and shared various pieces of information. Honestly, my sister and I were just focused on Dairy Belle which was always at the end of the walk and not the lecture.
So the first bird that arrived after my talk with the psychic was a California Scrub Jay. Now whether you believe in psychic abilities or not, I have to be honest and say California Scrub Jays are a dime a dozen in the Northern California. However, they are not common in my backyard. Also, if there was EVER a bird my dad would be linked to it is the Blue Jay. In my opinion Blue Jays are the brightest, boldest, cockiest, and might I say, loudest bird in the ole bird family. Plus, jays are scavengers.
Truthfully, I don't know what I really believe?
I do know that when they do show up in my backyard- which is rarely- I think of my Dad.
In the past 24 years I think I have seen them maybe three times?
This morning while in my backyard nursing my cup of coffee this proud poser alighted precariously on the feeder. Deep in thought already of today's daily dramas I watched him. Way too big, clearly not caring, but still providing me with something I needed.
This is a lovely post and you weave so deftly between past and present. It sounds like your dad was quite a vibrant presence, and I love how you connect with him and memories of him via the jays.
ReplyDeleteOh he was! "Vibrant," for sure. What a wonderful adjective.
DeleteThis is a lovely reminder that our ancestors stay nearby and never leave us. They are in the wind, in the leaves on the trees, and in the birds we so love to watch. I'm so sorry you lost your dad at such a young age. I have felt that recent loss of my own dad, and he's playing his visits smug for a while because he left his house a mess.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely, Kim. They are always with us. I couldn't agree more.
DeleteThis post has everything, from the poking-fun-at-self, "yes, I live in California," to the tender close, "...providing me with something I needed. Throughout the telling, we can see you and your sister as your dad shares the woods and himself with you, caretaking in every way. To let the bold Jay represent his personality is also beautifully crafted writing. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI read somewhere that even though someone dies, that they are gone, they really aren't. They are always there. I'm paraphrasing but it's something like that. It's completely true.
DeleteWhat a beautiful post. I also believe in the things we can’t know for sure but feel with our heart and soul. No matter who or what that bird is, it for sure is a visit from your dad just by prompting you to live with happy memories for awhile.
ReplyDeleteI 100% agree.
DeleteThat birds evoke memories of your father makes perfect sense to me, and while I’ve never consulted a psychic, their advice also makes sense. My father has been dead almost fifty years, and lots in nature, especially when I travel, feels like a conversation w/ him.
ReplyDeleteThe relationship between a father and a daughter is so unique, isn't it Glenda? I'm fascinated by it. So interesting that you have a nature connection with your Dad, too.
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