What makes someone check out of life? What makes someone give up? How could the same childhood trauma hit all four of us children full bore, yet seemingly only three of us can cope? That's presuming said trauma is the root. No one really knows but her. My siblings and I only became aware of the drinking maybe twenty years ago. Even then a little too much wine at a wedding, or some such event can easily slip past one. Since she lives out of state that leaves the time line wide open. And like the Titanic's iceberg, what is visible to the naked eye, is really only a fraction of what lies beneath.
My alcoholic sister was hospitalized last night for an emergency surgery. Is her alcoholic body giving out? Are the other existing health conditions prevailing? No one knows this either, as she withdrew from the world, and any kind of human contact years ago.
In contrast this morning my own house is bustling with activity it normally does not see. My adult daughter visiting from southern California running a marathon in San Jose is still sleeping while my husband and I match schedules for a handyman to come. He has gaslighted us this morning, but wants to come in the afternoon instead to fix outdoor lights. We try to settle on a time and a notification beeps through. It is my son texting from his girlfriend's house, and we remind him (not so gently) that his summer school college session begins this week.
I'm sure this post seems cold and indifferent. This is not our first rodeo. We never know where this may be heading, and that is the only thing that is consistent.
I did not read it as cold or indifferent. I read it as surviving with your sister’s situation. You have no control over her choices, as hard as that is to live with. The iceberg is a good way to view the situation. I wish you peace today. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteNot at all cold or indifferent. There are people whose drinking can look like everyone else's (only more so), and if you don't see that person every day, it's easy to miss the "only more so." I am sorry your alcoholic sister has been withdrawn from others for so long, but as the previous commenter said, you can't control her choices, only she can. (My husband was an alcoholic for the first 22 years of our marriage, and sober the last 30 years, and he only stopped drinking when he was ready to.)
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