When I found out my aunt had Alzheimers it was like a puzzle was solved. My aunt was like a mother figure to me. I had grown up without my mom and she had filled that void, and many others. In addition, she was like a grandmother to my two children, and the moment that they came to love her, as I did was a Disney ,"Circle of Life," one for me.
First thing I remember was our nightly calls stopped. I explained that away by the crazy/busy life she led. My uncle used to joke that the only way he could tell if she was home was by peering over his paper on their porch, and seeing if her car was there. Between the church, girl scouts, book and gardening clubs, community service and being a faculty wife she juggled it all.
During one of my annual visits I began to take notice of the repetition of our conversations, some unexplainable behavior, and then came a huge error with an Easter meal.
Even just recalling these incidents somehow seems almost disrespectful to her memory? Yet, I also believe had she cognitively been aware of what was happening to her brain, and could somehow step aside from it, she would have embraced it- full on. She would embrace it full on just as she had every other thing in her life. And believe me, she would do it all with effortless grace.
Your aunt sounds like a very special person and beloved to you and your family. While the puzzle was solved, I am sure the diagnoses has been very difficult to accept. I am so sorry.
ReplyDeleteThank-you for your kind words and astute observations. :)
DeleteI understand your reluctance to share a "heavy" topic on Tuesday, but I'm so glad you did. I opted out, though I certainly had one, but you've given me courage for next time. I know Easter must have triggered this—"Then came a huge error with an Easter meal," obviously too painful to recount today, but part of your reckoning. Thanks for a loving tribute.
ReplyDeleteThank-you for your honesty, and your heartfelt comments. I sometimes find writing cathartic.
DeleteI am glad you opted for a heavy topic. Slices don't have to be upbeat! And I notice how you write about your aunt: your love and admiration come first. Even when you are fully grappling with her diagnosis, you are steeped in your love for her - the idea that she would embrace even her difficult diagnosis is incredibly powerful. May you remember this as you continue to love the woman who embraced all the parts of her life. And thank you for sharing a glimpse of her with all of us.
ReplyDeleteThank-you for this! I will keep this close
DeleteIt is good to write about those we love and the struggles that enter our live unexpected. Sounds like she was a wonderful lady.
ReplyDeleteJoanne, she most definitely is!!
Delete